Mondays are great... if your team won on the weekend; as my team most certainly did.
Melbourne is an AFL mad city, and Monday mornings are full of fervor as opponents trade tales of triumph for explanations for unexpected routs and whitewashes. The local papers devote almost more pages to the footy than they do the news, giving us plenty to discuss, dissect and debate. Yep, on a Monday morning, workplaces around Melbourne will discuss anything from who was BOG, to who should be suspended, even what the commentators said and how hot the pies were.
Except my boss. He's not into footy.
So what are you supposed to do on post-mortem Mondays if you are like my boss, and have an aversion to sports? Well, Anna Candler had the answer in last Fridays Boss magazine:
"The first step is to make a list of all those you wish to impress, their chosen sport and team. Commit this list to memory by whatever means possible. At the same time pick yourself a team. For the sports novice, the interests of the person that you most need to impress should dictate your sport and team.Each Monday morning, having risen an hour or two earlier, all you need to do is check the results. In the early days make notes, as there is nothing worse that confusing your Lions with your Panthers or your Demons with your Dragons.
Until you are confident with the relevant sporting terminology, restrict post-mortems to either a rueful shake of the head or a grin, depending on whom you meet. This indication of support should open the floodgates and with any luck negate the need to say anything.
As time goes by, you can inject names into the conversation; as in: "The umpires really have it in for Hallsy." This implies a dyed-in-the-wool familiarity with the relevant player and the team. If you want to avoid talking about specific players, a disparaging comment about the umpire always works.
The next step is to recognise that, come August, some of your colleagues will disappear on Monday mornings. The reason: their team no longer has a chance of making the finals.
Repeat these strategies for each new season of sports and within two years you will have joined the supporter' club and become an accepted member of society.
Unless you choose to follow Collingwood."
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