I received a letter from Foxtel today (the Pay and Pay and Pay and Pay TV people). It started off like this:
“We are writing to inform you of changes to your Foxtel service.”
Which of course means I am about to be paying more. But like most pro-forma letters that you get from big service providers, they can’t just tell me what the new charges are. They feel the need to tell me other things like:
“These changes reflect our ongoing intention to provide a service that is constantly evolving and which continues to offer great value to our subscribers”
What a load of sanctimonious clag. They don’t even think of me as a customer; I am just a subscriber….
“Ongoing intention”; that is a bit like a politician giving us a commitment, just because they intend to do something, doesn’t mean that they will. It’s just an empty thing that someone in their pro-forma letter writing department thinks sounds clever. And the bit about “constantly evolving”, does that mean their prices are also “constantly evolving?” Or what does it mean? Who knows.
I hate this type of corporate speak entering my world through pro-forma letters like this. This letter uses the same type of language that you see in mission statements, consultancy reports and annual reports. Why can’t Foxtel (and all utilities companies) they just write a letter that says:
“From December 1, 2004, the subscriber rates will be….”
I’ll then work out for myself whether it is “great value” and whether I continue to subscribe or not. Simple.