Almost Advancing Australia's Fair

Back in September I tee'd off at our national anthem, Advance Australia Fair:

The words and tune that make up Advance Australia Fair fail to reach any inspiring heights. It’s almost bit of a dirge:
Australians all let us rejoice
For we are young and free
We’ve golden soil and wealth for toil
Our home is girt by sea

Well, Thor Prohaska agrees:

I also came to the same conclusion that Australia needs a better national anthem. So I did something about it and created an improved version of Advance Australia Fair. I have changed half of the words but left the tune unchanged. It is now titled Australia and goes like this:
Australians all let us rejoice
for we are all born free.
We are the dreaming of this land
its spirit breathes in me.
Our home abounds with nature's gifts
of beauty rich and rare.
At every stage let history's page
treat all Australians fair.
With joyful voices let us sing
Australia is our home

(You can check the whole thing out here)

Thats a bit more evocative I guess, but still has no real attack in it, like the best national anthems do. Thor's lyrics (whilst an improvement) still fail to relay any deep, insprirational images on our idea’s and ideals.... I still wouldn't put my hand on my heart and sing it with a lump in my throught.

But I do like the "it's spirit breathes in me" bit; some more of that type of thing and we would be on to something.

(I'd have a lash at writing a National Anthem, but I struggle to write a decent limerick)

Comments

[Thor Prohaska]

With regard to your observations about the proposed new anthem you said, '... but still has no real attack in it, like the best national anthems do.' I don't understand what you mean by 'real attack'? Can you provide an example of what you mean?

Further you state that the proposed new anthem 'Australia' '... fails to relay any deep, inspirational images on our idea’s and ideals'. I think that your assessment is unfair because taken literally you think there are NO deep ideas or ideals in the proposed new version. I argue that there are many deep ideas/ideals in the proposed new version. Have you read the reasons behind the changes see http://www.anthem.net.au/title.php

Out of the feedback I have received already only a small minority of Australian's feel that the proposed new words don't carry enough meaning. Can you identify the deep, inspirational images of our idea’s and ideals' that are missing? It is valid to say that you don't like something, however to carry weight the objections must be backed up by a supporting argument.

To me and many other Australian's this version is better. However, if anybody comes up with an even better version (in part or whole) and the majority of Australian's agree than that will become the proposed new version. This is direct democracy in action.

I think that it also important to note that there are a significant minority of Australians who like the anthem just the way it is and don't want any change. So to toss out all of it would be an even bigger challenge then only changing those parts that 'don't feel good'.

Evolution not Revolution.

[Thor Prohaska]

Hi,

Thanks for posting up my response to your comments. However, I note that the link to the explanation page is, ' http://www.anthem.net.au/title.php)? '. The bit on the end ')?' of the above URL is causing the link to return a 'The page cannot be found' error. Can you please remove the ')?' from the link so it works.

If you get the time I'm still interested in understanding more about your initial observations.

Regards,

Thor

[shannon]

Hi Thor,
Sorry for the delay in getting back to you... I fixed the link for you and appreciate your willingness to debate our national anthem with me. If only more debate had transpired before they chose Advance Australian Fair.
I DO think your lyrics are an improvement. And yes, I did read your supporting notes, and cannot disagree with your rationale or intent.
But I am somewhere between musical genius and musical moron, andI believe that the lyrics to a national anthem should scream inspiration on their own, not rely on an appendix of explanatory notes to convey their meaning.

Mark Twain once said:
"A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intently right words the effect is physical as well as spititual, and electrically prompt."
Thus national anthems should contain the right words, to be an agent that inspires us, unites us and physically and spiritually moves us. We need to find the right words to convey images on our idea’s and ideals. To me they are missing in both the original and your version. I don't know what they are... but I know what they aren't because they don't affect me, don't move me, don't inspire me. (That might seem a cop out, but if I knew what they were I'd right an anthem. In that regard I am happy to be a customer giving my supplier some feedback for them to consider if they wish)
Check out the NZ anthem http://www.nz.com/NZ/Culture/Music/NatAnthem.html
That has the right words; it describes their ideals; peace, God, hospitality, as well as a great determination to attack and defend them, The Star Spangled Banner likewise.
Our is just a description:
For we are young and free
We’ve golden soil and wealth for toil
Our home is girt by sea
So, again, I don't profess to know what the perfect national anthem is, But AAF is not. And hopefully your work will constinue to spark debate and discussion. (And the occasional pinch-hitting criticism offered by people like me!)

[Uncle Rick]

The only real things in life that count for Jack shit is Sex Booze and Rock & Roll. The only way to make it better is to do it all in the back of a HOLDEN V8